I get what you're saying about 2nd time parents. It doesn't so much apply to me, though, since kid 1 is almost seven. I can pretty much hand her a new book and not see her again for a few hours. (Earlier this summer I bought her the first three Ramona books and she was totally absorbed for a few hours each.)

Also, all the help really helps with kid 1, too. My sister often takes her off swimming or to the bounce house place or for little hikes and creek-splashing.

Now that I know what a difference it makes, I would totally pay for postpartum help if I had to, as much as I could. I never really got the whole postpartum doula thing before--it seemed kind of self-indulgent and kind of lonely to hire someone to come do stuff. But now I totally think it's awesome. The next baby shower I go to, I'm totally gifting the family with a few hours of postpartum doula help.