dancingsinging (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dancingsinging) wrote2013-03-27 09:25 pm
dancingsinging) wrote2013-03-27 09:25 pm
More random disorganized posting
Wheat did not make the cut today. I reintroduced with a sandwich on sourdough bread and felt major ick and minor gastrointestinal upset pretty quickly. <sigh> At least I know.
Why does Pandora have a swear-word filter but no misogyny filter?! My daughter has transformed her love of Michael Martin Murphy (cowboy music) into a Pandora station that plays cowboy nostalgia, country, and weird 70s folk. (OMG, if I have to hear John Denver sing Rocky Mtn High one more time I'm gonna puke.) Anyway, it's weird how country can be all sweet and idealistic and girl-meets-boy-handholding one minute and grossly, disgustingly misogynistic the next. And also, so much gender essentialism! My deal with her was that she could listen to "grown-up" (i.e. not made-for-kids) music but that I could thumbs-down at will. So I do a lot of thumbsing-down. Which is probably fucking up Pandora's method for figuring out what kind of music she likes. (She loves Don Williams, but the one about "pull down the shades, turn out the light, and love me tonight" got the hammer. Not for the sex innuendos but for the annoying demandingness and sort of implied objectification.)
It is weird how strongly some of the country music affects me. I mean it's super sappy, but it gets me. I actually started crying at the dinner table when this song about how this dude and his wife won't be sad when their children grow up and move away because they'll remember when. My daughter was so cute; she said "if it makes you so sad, then don't listen to it." Anyway, I think I get this weird identity resonance/dissonance thing listening to it. I used to feel guilty whenever I listened to country music, but now that I decided to stay married and have another kid, sometimes I just identify. Which is so weird, because it's all heartland, bedrock, God stuff. I dunno.
I had some caffeinated tea today at 5:00 and so I'm awake now, even though the only time the little dude sleeps in his own crib for more than an hour or so is like 8 to 9:30. But you know what? I feel so /damn/ good. It's giving me hope that being depressed really is mostly about sleep deprivation and not something harder to reverse. Not that I can really reverse it right now. But it's nice to have a little brief artificial feeling of enough rest. I know why I always get re-addicted to this drug.
Why does Pandora have a swear-word filter but no misogyny filter?! My daughter has transformed her love of Michael Martin Murphy (cowboy music) into a Pandora station that plays cowboy nostalgia, country, and weird 70s folk. (OMG, if I have to hear John Denver sing Rocky Mtn High one more time I'm gonna puke.) Anyway, it's weird how country can be all sweet and idealistic and girl-meets-boy-handholding one minute and grossly, disgustingly misogynistic the next. And also, so much gender essentialism! My deal with her was that she could listen to "grown-up" (i.e. not made-for-kids) music but that I could thumbs-down at will. So I do a lot of thumbsing-down. Which is probably fucking up Pandora's method for figuring out what kind of music she likes. (She loves Don Williams, but the one about "pull down the shades, turn out the light, and love me tonight" got the hammer. Not for the sex innuendos but for the annoying demandingness and sort of implied objectification.)
It is weird how strongly some of the country music affects me. I mean it's super sappy, but it gets me. I actually started crying at the dinner table when this song about how this dude and his wife won't be sad when their children grow up and move away because they'll remember when. My daughter was so cute; she said "if it makes you so sad, then don't listen to it." Anyway, I think I get this weird identity resonance/dissonance thing listening to it. I used to feel guilty whenever I listened to country music, but now that I decided to stay married and have another kid, sometimes I just identify. Which is so weird, because it's all heartland, bedrock, God stuff. I dunno.
I had some caffeinated tea today at 5:00 and so I'm awake now, even though the only time the little dude sleeps in his own crib for more than an hour or so is like 8 to 9:30. But you know what? I feel so /damn/ good. It's giving me hope that being depressed really is mostly about sleep deprivation and not something harder to reverse. Not that I can really reverse it right now. But it's nice to have a little brief artificial feeling of enough rest. I know why I always get re-addicted to this drug.