Hospital realizations

[dancingsinging]

My dad had a minor stroke in the wee hours this morning (he is fine; it was scary as hell at first when he couldn't talk and I thought he was going to be seriously mentally impaired permanently, but he recovered speech in just a couple hours) and I spent most of the day watching him be a minor pain in the ass to all the doctors and nurses and technicians. (He wasn't horribly obnoxious as he often used to be and he has some fucked-up childhood reasons to have trust issues especially when the stakes are so high. But I digress from my main point.) While watching him and then going off to do self care, I noticed the ways that I have similar habits. Like, I noticed myself thinking how people should be really nice and caring to me because it's so stressful having your dad have a stroke. And then I realized that I almost /always/ have a reason for why people should cut me a break or be extra nice to me (e.g. I'm pregnant & sick; I have a baby who wakes me up every couple hours; I'm having a rough time in my marriage; I'm having an identity crisis; and on and on and there's never an end to it). So I decided that I'm going to like watch really carefully for a time when there isn't a huge crisis going on (maybe a night when I only have to wake up once or twice or something) and then during that time, notice how other people around me might be having a reason that they need to be treated especially well and try to be extra considerate to them. You know, like, balance.