Out in another way
Jun. 10th, 2011 03:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancingsingingSo, I recently got onto Facebook, and in front of my aunt-in-law (who reports to my mother-in-law) and all my Southern Baptist extended family, declared that I am, indeed, bisexual and monogamously married. Which was dandy. Because I was tired of being semi-out with family and all that. And I hated the feeling of being two radically different people in two different contexts.
But it made me realize how much I've pretended around here that I don't love my mainstream, monogamous, heterosexual marriage. And I don't want to be fake with you all. So here it is:
I like knowing that my spouse and I have something special, shared only between us. I like the results of having poured /all/ of our time and energy into a single relationship--that we know each other to depths that we couldn't if we hadn't spent so much time together. I love the feeling of having our wagons hitched together, of joint enterprise dominating the tone of our lives.
I can totally think of excellent poly counterarguments to each of these points. And, yes, if my spouse was up for it, I'd choose polyamory. But I don't anymore begrudge monogamy. It's not some huge drag I put up with because my spouse is just barely worth it. I love my spouse and I love my relationship, and because monogamy enables me to have them in my life, I love monogamy.
Perhaps this is boring and obvious to you all. But I needed to say it for me.
But it made me realize how much I've pretended around here that I don't love my mainstream, monogamous, heterosexual marriage. And I don't want to be fake with you all. So here it is:
I like knowing that my spouse and I have something special, shared only between us. I like the results of having poured /all/ of our time and energy into a single relationship--that we know each other to depths that we couldn't if we hadn't spent so much time together. I love the feeling of having our wagons hitched together, of joint enterprise dominating the tone of our lives.
I can totally think of excellent poly counterarguments to each of these points. And, yes, if my spouse was up for it, I'd choose polyamory. But I don't anymore begrudge monogamy. It's not some huge drag I put up with because my spouse is just barely worth it. I love my spouse and I love my relationship, and because monogamy enables me to have them in my life, I love monogamy.
Perhaps this is boring and obvious to you all. But I needed to say it for me.
